My secret

I posted in a few places that I had a secret a few days ago. Who knew that my little secret would stir up such curiosity?!

Well... for my nonscrapping readers, the news may disappoint you a bit. For me, however, it's far from mundane news to say that one of my all-time favorite designers, MandaBean, asked me to join her creative team! I was so excited to get her email earlier in the week, but she had to wait a bit to make things official, then I went out of town for a couple of days.

Rob and I went to Washington, DC to celebrate our 10th anniversary a bit early. We had such a great time! Not surprisingly, I found the Newseum to be just about the coolest place I'd ever been. Seriously. We spent SIX HOURS in that place. I was practically giddy to get to see actual copies of front pages like "Dewey Defeats Truman" up close. It was a bit creepy, too, to stand next to the Unabomber's cabin and see the top of a radio tower that was once on the World Trade Center. I could go on, but anyone who's not a total news junkie might start to get bored.

We went to dinner last night at Ruth's Chris. Perhaps it wasn't the most innovative place we could go, but it was Sonoma friendly and Rob had never been. We had a hilarious French waiter and the place practically to ourselves, so we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. I am really loving that I can be on a diet that actually allows me to eat someplace like that and still works. I am going to see if I actually won a weight loss challenge at work this week. A few of us decided to try to lose 10 lbs. in 10 weeks. My official weigh-in for the challenge is tomorrow, but I am pretty sure I'll be able to report 17 pounds.

I still need to unpack before I can go to bed, and tomorrow will be busy. Chalk it up to yet another thing I never thought I'd be doing 10 years ago but am totally looking forward to now: Sam is finally old enough to go to Vacation Bible School! Rob and I volunteered even before we had a child of our own, so we're really looking forward to seeing Sam have fun this week.

HOT

I thought yesterday was possibly the hottest day of my entire life. I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that I was in the middle of a field, next to a track that might possibly have been made of molten lava, but I was wrong.

Yesterday was not the hottest day of my life. Today is. And I'm not happy about it.

And I'm surely only going to get crankier by Tuesday, when the forecast is calling for a heat index of 109 degrees.

I don't think it should be legal to require people to do much of anything in this kind of oppressive heat. I think Rob and Sam should be able to stay home tomorrow and eat popsicles all day.

I also keep anyone who doesn't have the luxury of sitting in air conditioning, in front of a computer, whining on a blog *waaahhh...it's hot out*** in my prayers on days like this. Ever since I was little, really hot or really cold weather makes me think about homeless people. I hate that there are people in the world who have no place to go on days like this.

This week

This has been one of the most un-fun weeks I've had in ages. It's sad and frustrating all at once to have thing begin to change when you're just not ready for it. It's hard to watch the one you love the most struggle so much with it.

Because this is at least in theory a public blog, I don't want to violate anyone's privacy by putting down in black and white what all the stress is about, but suffice it to say it's taking it's toll on my husband, and I fear we're only getting started with what's to come.

My superman husband is tormenting himself about all the good he's supposed to be doing in the world tomorrow. He's genuinely needed in more places than one body is capable of occupying, and it's breaking him down to decide what to do. I may have to slip something into his root beer tonight to get him to sleep. Poor guy. Then again, it times of intense stress, Rob seems to be able to just drop off to sleep as a way of escape. Let's hope he at least gets that much respite!

I took Sam to Family Fun Night at Laurel Tree tonight. He has markedly matured since last year when he ran from activity to activity like a whirlwind. He was calm tonight and actually ate a little bit. What he ingested wasn't healthy, but edible substances did enter his body. That's progress.

He also spent a good deal of time in the world's largest moonbounce. A few parents let little itty bitty kids go in this contraption. Sam saw a roughly 18 month old girl start to cry when she got bounced into, resulting in a bloody lip. His first instinct was to stop, watch her intently, then rush to me to ask if she was ok and how he could make her feel better.

This week may be stressful, but God seems to have a way of letting me know that things will still be ok!

Baby Fever

Does anyone remember me saying that the wait wasn't too bad yet? It must be because I'm so sure *our* baby is on the planet somewhere now that it's gotten measurably more difficult to remain patient over the last few days.

I think I officially have baby fever again.

I wonder if waiting in a long line in a dingy immigration office in Northeast Philadelphia in the wee hours of Saturday morning will put a damper on that at all?

Strong feeling

I've been meaning to get this "on paper" for a few days now. I have NO IDEA why, but I said to Rob on more than one occasion this weekend that I really think our baby was born May 31 or June 1. I have absolutely no idea if this is true and know I won't find out until the end of the year if I was right, but whoever he or she is or will be, I've definitely started to think about "the baby" a lot.

I think I've got a REALLY bad case of nesting settling in, too, since we meet with the designer for the first time today to plan out the new kitchen. I'm antsy to do something to get the rooms for Sam and the baby switched over, but can't really do much to the nursery until we know if we'll have a boy or girl. I'm still fairly well convinced we'll have a girl, but I know that the minute I buy something pink, I'll get a call that we have another son!

We've been back to talking about baby names a lot, too. Sam announced this weekend that, regardless of gender, HIS baby (still working on sharing, apparently) will be called "Mr. Wow." Catchy, no? I'm also pretty sure he's got a hidden Johnny Cash stash somewhere, because prior to the big Mr. Wow decision, he told me that we were getting a boy and that HER name would be Sue. I think I've blogged about that before, but it still cracks me up.

Rob finally saw firsthand some of Sam's emotional reaction to the adoption. It seems to come and go, and was definitely coming this weekend. The two of them were watching the movie "An American Tail," and when the little mice were in Orphan Alley looking for their family, Rob looked over to see Sam with tears streaming down his face. He told Rob that he didn't want to watch the movie and just stood there silently crying because he found it so sad that anyone would get separated from their family. I really have no idea if the Orphan Alley part had anything to do with this, but it sure had an impact on us.

Sam also has taken, again, to stuffing blankie under his shirt to pretend it's a baby. I asked him about it on Sunday and he told me that he knows babies grow in bellies. I asked him if he knew whose belly he grew in and he said, "Yes. My Daddy's." I asked if he'd ever seen another daddy with a baby in his belly and said no. He also said that "babies don't grow in your belly, Mommy." We've told him on more than one occasion that my belly is broken. I try to keep that comment separate from discussion about adoption, however. So, my poor kid is probably a bit confused. He knows he's adopted in terms of the word, but he doesn't really know that that means. I think we're doing the right thing, though, by making him comfortable with the word so that it won't be as big a deal when he really understands what it means.

I was proud to hear him say something today that made me know that while he may not truly understand adoption yet, he knows what family is. He was chattering on the way to school that Mommies and Daddies and babies always take care of each other. Then he said, "You know what, Mommy? You don't even have to look alike to be family. Daddy and Willy look just alike, but Daddy and Uncle David don't. Uncle David has more hair. But they are still brothers, aren't they, Mommy?" Truth and humor. The best combination!