Life as MommyMo

Friday, November 27, 2009


It's been a week since we legally and officially completed our family. I remembered how emotional Sam's finalization ceremony was for me, but I was (and am still) surprised at how significant is has felt to know that Max is ours forever.

Of course, I knew he was MY baby the minute I laid eyes on him. And I trusted that the process was working as it should, meaning (as I've explained to Sam) that God knows exactly which babies belong with which mommies and daddies... It doesn't matter how He brings you together. Forever families are just meant to be.

The court date was special this time, too, because we were given the opportunity to take place in National Adoption Day festivities. We were one of 32 families (and 37 children) being finalized on November 20, in Camden County. The wait to see the judge was long, but we passed the time with other families who were just as excited as we were. There was even one family adopting six siblings at once, and they were all dressed in purple, the youngest daughter's favorite color. It was adorable and almost overwhelming to witness. I was moved beyond words when I saw the family come of out of the courtoom. The dad was practically turning cartwheels down the hall! It's hard to imagine how big their hearts must be. It was clear that they were all very lucky, and happy, to have each other forever.

In the days since Max's finalization, I've stopped more times than I can count to just look and him and think about what it means to be forever linked together. I feel blessed beyond description to have the family that I do. While I will never forget the pain and emotional turmoil trying to have a family caused us, it was worth every single tear and sleepless night along the way to end up where we did. We have the everyday struggles that any family does, but I think that's what makes it so special. It was the run-of-the-mill that I wanted. I never wanted anything more than anyone else does... I just wanted children to love and raise with the knowledge that they are the center of their parents' universe. And that's just what I got.

Sam has definitely thought lately about what adoption means and he seems to have a very healthy grasp of it. He accepts without pretense that he didn't grow inside his mommy and that other mommies have also been a part of his life. He pretty much talks about adoption just like he talks about the fact that the sky is blue and the grass is green. It's just a regular part of his life. The fact that Rob and I talk about how happy we are about it is just part of our family culture to him. It doesn't seem "special" to him and I think that's a very good thing.

In fact, adoption is so "regular" to him that when he asked if the new family next door had kids for him to play with and I said "no, they don't have children yet, he replied, "Oh... They still need to adopt theirs?"

He does, however, notice that we do look different from one another at this point. We explored this issue a bit yesterday. He told me that I don't look like him. When I asked in what way he meant, he said, "Well, your skin is kind of light and red. You should probably put it in the light more so that it can be brown like mine."

I asked how else we were different. He said, "Mommy, you're not Korean."

His explanation? "You don't wear glasses like me and you like to wear slippers on your feet. I like to have bare feet." I had no idea that those were the criteria for being Korean!

Our week of family festivities wrapped up with a truly great Thanksgiving yesterday. We had a smaller than usual gathering, but it was really a lot of fun. We just hung out, ate way too much food, and then laughed and talked and played games until it was time for bed. It was a perfect family day.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

It's been a while

I have had a busy few month or so, and find myself not blogging like I'd like to when things are either crazy or not-so-great. The last couple of months have been both, for various reasons, but I miss just spilling my guts on occasion, so I'm not going anywhere.

I won't recap the last few months in detail, but they go something like this: new job, work stress, ear infections, school adjustment, travel, grad school balance, more paperwork. Does ANY of that sound exciting? Lest you say the travel would be nice, it was all for work...

I did just return from a few days in North Carolina where we filmed another episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The nice people at ABC rebuilt the house of a Relayer who desperately needed it. The family comes home today. I'm sure they will be thrilled! I'll keep you posted on an air date. Since the Relay we did was held in the midst of Hurricane Ida, you'll be hard pressed to pick me out of the masses of people wearing tacky navy blue rain gear purchased from Walmart.

Despite all of the stress of late, this past week has been a big blessing for our family. We baptized Max on Sunday, and the service was everything I'd hoped it would be. We are very blessed to attend a church that makes each baptism such a special and personal experience.

We're also finalizing Max's adoption on Friday. It's an even bigger relief this time than it was with Sam, probably because I know now we'll never have to do all of this hoop jumping again. We can just settle in as a family of four FOREVER! It's a formality to say that this is what Max a Becker, but it's still a very emotional time for us. We're also very proud that he'll soon be an American citizen. I promise to post pictures more than six weeks after the fact.