I'm a control freak

Odd that, while I've known this about myself for years, I don't think I've actually been willing to believe it about myself until this week. There's so much up in the air right now, that I'm finding it hard to focus, hard to sleep, hard to keep my wits about me from moment to moment.

I want to be patient and take things as they come, but things like a baby who is in the throes of a total food throwing phase test every last fiber of my nervous system. Luckily, I find myself able to take a step back *almost* in the moment to realize that said child is doing nothing but practicing motor skills and having fun. He loves me and certainly would NOT be tossing banana at the back of my head were he to know that I was about to crack about deadlines, expected phone calls, schedules for three other human beings, etc.

So... I decided just today that while there's lots I can't control in life, I can control how controlling I am. Poetic, right? Basically I'm trying to promise myself to take a few more deep breaths than I usually do before I start to feel the stress ball in my stomach begin to well up. I'm sure that the stress will still be there, but no one but me is ultimately affected if I let it get to me. So I won't. Or at least I'll try not to. Now... Who's going to volunteer to keep me honest?!