Of course I've already realized that 2009 promises to be a big year for our family, but it dawned on me today how significant some of the changes are bound to be in ways that I hadn't thought about yet...I think that I've been so focused on getting matched that I haven't pondered some of the details until the news really began to sink in. I've also been mentally geared toward a forever family that included a girl. For the record... that really does not mean either Rob or I had a preference about the gender of our child. It just appeared after years of watching the Holt referrals that #2 was a girl at least 75%. While I must admit that I'd come to like the notion of shopping for girly clothes, my daydreaming pretty much ended there. Ten years or so ago, I would never have dreamed how our family has turned out... I've learned so many lessons about what you CAN'T plan on or control, and I am absolutely convinced that God has blessed me with exactly the family I was meant to have.
All of that is to say that I've started to ponder the finer points of the new journey that's ahead now that we know Max is our son. Some of those details are big -- like how life will be for Sam with a little brother to influence and enjoy. Some of the details are small -- like our wonder about whether or not Sam's clothes will fit his little brother.
The biggest detail that is really starting to settle in is that our family will be complete in 2009. I always knew we would have two kids. I was even more sure of that fact as it became clear that we weren't getting any younger as the process evolved along the way. But, now that I really think about it, there's something profound in just knowing that your family is complete. When I look back, at least fifteen years of my life (if not more) have been somehow affected by the creation of our family. Rob and I knew we'd get married and had the usual conversations about all of the "what ifs" from an early point in our relationship. Then we got married and the conversation turned to when we'd start having kids (we were always a year away in our minds!) Most of the rest of the story is history by now. The first pregnancy was a surprise in more ways than I like to recall... From there, we learned many difficult lessons, but we also found the true strength in our relationship with one another and the faith that maybe God had another plan for us.
That's my deep thought to begin 2009! It sounds simple to say that Max completes us, but I'm happily discovering what it really means to say that. The best part of it is feeling like we're finally switching gears from spending so much of our lives waiting to spending our time fully focused on each other.
That brings me to a random point that fellow die-hard scrappers/crafters will understand. I wasn't originally all that interested in the whole "word of the year" conversation, but the more I read about the concept, the more I decided having a word to guide my year might be more significant than planning yet another New Year's resolution. Not that you're waiting with breath held, but the word I decided fits for this year is FOCUS.
I want to focus on simplifying my life so that I can focus on what really matters. I want to focus on the priorities that make my life meaningful, and stop worrying about finding time to do things that aren't enhancing my life or someone else's. Luckily, I still think scrapping fits squarely into this category. More importantly, I hope it will belp guide my decisions when I find myself running in too many directions when all I really want is to be home with my boys, and giving Sam (and soon Max) as much attention as I can while they're still little enough to want to soak it up.
That said, Sam's just emerged from his own person Geotown (aka the new basement playroom) and requested some "cuddle time." I can't say no to that.
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