Life as MommyMo

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Holding my breath

It dawned on me this morning that I have been walking around almost literally holding my breath for days now... It's a wonder I don't have fabulous abdominal muscles to show for it. Wait. I probably do. They're just "hidden."

Seriously, though. I will admit that I have a tendency to worry (you can enter your votes for my understatement-of-the-year prize now, thank you.) But I can't believe how many "big" things I have going on in my pea brain right now.

First, I'm a wee bit nervous that yesterday was a weird honeymoon thing and that Max will have a bad day again today. I'm slightly more comforted than I was 24 hours ago, but when we took him in today (we decided to take him in and pick him up together all week) he looked at me as if to say "Wait. I was ok with this little diversion yesterday, but WHAT do you MEAN you're leaving me here again?!" Miss Judy did seem to have him calm before we ever left the building, though.

Second, Sam will have his own huge adjustment to make next week. I just hope his teachers see him for the sweet, smart little guy he is, even if his energy level takes some getting used to. I also hope he won't get too frustrated trying to learn all kinds of new things in a new place. Again, I can find some comfort in a comment from his pre-K teacher. She told us that of all the students she's had over the years, Sam will be one of those she remembers forever. She described him as one of the sweetest children she's ever had. That's SO nice to hear!

Third, work is um, stressful to say the very least. I love my job, but like anyone else, the news of layoffs all around you leaves you a little nervous. I'm staying positive, but it's a *constant* source of conversation whenever I talk to anyone from the office.

Finally, there's a great deal of emotion and stress with a few family issues right now that has me sad and yes, worried, for sure. It doesn't really feel like something to discuss "out loud" at length, but I can't help but think about it on a very regular basis.

All of this leaves me thinking a few things. First, I have to remember that so far we've been blessed that all problems do work themselves out. Second, I have to swallow the bitter mommy pill... the one that tells you that your kids really are fine on their own to some degree and that it's good for them to learn to do things without you holding their little hands. I'm speaking more of Sam here... and I am constantly reminding myself that he's a spunky little boy who can find happiness no matter what. Finally, I really do need to commit myself to what I *can* do to keep unnecessary and pointless worry to a minimum. I'm going to do my best to channel my energy into getting recommitted to eating right and exercising every day. It takes a lot of planning for me to follow the right plan in that regard, so that should leave little time for me to fret!

Phil 4:13...........I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


Stingray said...

Just remember that when you look back on all of your experiences...

the highs are never as high as they seemed...and the lows are never as low as they seemed.

This, too, shall pass.