Life as MommyMo

Friday, December 19, 2008

Worth the Wait!

Apparently all the adoption wives' tales about your call coming the minute you think you can't take any more waiting are actually true!

After 66 weeks, we received the referral of Maxwell Owen Tae Min yesterday at 3:47 p.m. Oddly, when the phone finally rang, I didn't jump immediately thinking that this was THE call.

I was at a meeting in Atlanta most of the week, and got special dispensation to keep my phone out and on during the sessions. Someone remarked that it was amusing that every time I talked -- which I tend to do with my hands -- I did it clutching my BlackBerry. In some ways, I didn't want the call to come while I was away from Rob and Sam. In others, I just wanted the call at any time!

Well, when I woke up yesterday morning, I thought to myself (somewhat cynically, I suppose) that I'd probably miss the call while I was in the air flying home. Of course, I checked my voicemail as soon as I landed, and moped off the plane, prepared to wait even until after Christmas for the call.

I was supposed to be taking Sam to a "Santa Jump" at Pump It Up last night, but have a really nasty sinus infection and could barely breathe yesterday. I ended up apologizing profusely, but telling him that we'd go to Toys R Us and pick out a new truck documentary and have a quiet movie night at home last night. It was en route to Toys R Us when my phone rang. I was just about the turn into the parking lot when I heard the phone. I tapped the little button on my Bluetooth, only to realize I'd lost the connection. I contemplated just calling whoever it was once I was parked, but still ended up grabbing the phone thinking it might be Kim. Isn't it amazing how many thoughts can go through my little brain in such a short span of time?!

When I picked up the phone, I also didn't look at the Caller ID... again, weird for me. When I heard the agency director identify herself, I immediately knew that I needed to pull over. I nearly wrecked the van when she agreed that it would be best if I was parked before she told me what she was calling about.

And so it went... We didn't have the experience of an out-of-the-blue call with Sam, and the surprise and joy were everything I imagined they'd be. I managed to keep from crying on the phone, but that could have been because I was taking down notes and actually processing the fact that we were matched with a son. I was really, truly expecting a girl match, though I'd always known we couldn't bet on what the outcome would be.

Korea no longer allows the vast majority of families to request gender, but we impressed upon our social worker at the time that we were not disappointed with that change and that we genuinely didn't have a preference. I had convinced myself in watching the other referrals that it would be a girl, but I really knew I'd be happy with either. I felt like we'd get matched with the child God intended us to have, and that's just what happened.

Sam was in the backseat during the call, of course, and was mildly excited for a few seconds before he realized where we were. Then he only cared about getting into Toys R Us. I felt like it was my first lesson in being a mommy of two. I wanted nothing more than to go home and see the pictures of our son, but Sam would have freaked, so we did our shopping before meeting Rob at home to see the photos.

We'd considered a short list of names for a while, but ended up going with one that, while on the list, probably wasn't the leader for most of the time. When we saw our little guy's face, he just didn't look like some of the other names, but he did look like Max to us. He sort of looks like a sweet, serious, little old man to me and that name just worked. I also like that it goes so well with Sam.

His birth mother did give him his Korean name, so we are absolutely keeping it as part of his name. I searched yesterday evening for a name that meant the same thing as the name she chose, but couldn't find a good American name that means "pretty" or "pretty rock." It's a stretch, but I did read one translation of Maxwell to mean "capable," and since his birthmom wanted him to be "a strong, healthy, happy baby," (a quote that was in his file) we felt like Max still honored that. Owen loosely translates to "gift of God," too, which was important to us.

Sam has adjusted to the news about like I thought he would. He likes to talk about the baby to some degree, and even mentioned that he had a baby in Toys R Us right after the call, but also has moments of not wanting to talk about it and seeming worried.

I've reassured him, after being questioned, that we would certainly love him every bit as much now as we did before Max. I told him that mommies and daddies have special hearts that allow them to grow as much as they need to in order to hold all the love they have for all of their babies.

After hearing that, he was a bit happier about wearing his big brother shirt and was quite chatty with the dentist and his teachers at school about "his baby." He does, however, still seem to think Max is already on a plane. We'll work on that one, or else the next few months will REALLY be long ones.


Becky Troxel aka webchyk said...

Congratulations, Karen! He is absolutely adorable, and I love your assessment...he does look like "an old soul," so serious in the photo. I pray the time goes quickly 'til he's in your arms!

Kimgw74 said...

I have been waiting all morning to read about "the call" in your blog!I am sooo happy that you got the call before the Holidays, you already sound like it has brought some peace to your voice!

Ron/Anna said...

I don't like it when you make me cry at work. It makes me look stupid! I'm so happy for you,Rob and Sam!

Ron said...

I don't like it when you make me cry at work. It makes me look stupid! I'm so happy for you, Rob and Sam.

Stef said...

I Love Sam's shirt!! And the look of sheer excitement on his face :) Max is one lucky baby. Now you need a nap for being pregnant for 66 weeks, I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

megganhood said...

Congratulations Karen! I can't tell you how happy I am for you guys. And what a great name, it was one of our top boy names!

Helena said...

축하합니다! That's so exciting!

Did they say Tae Min means "pretty rock"? I would have thought it was something like "great citizen."

Melissa said...

Congratulations! He is such a cutie! And I love the picture of Sam and his "big brother" shirt!