Spicing up my name

I'm in a hotel room in Boston (feeling incredibly guilty that Rob is home with my double-pink-eyed son... and that I made a bad call/erroneous diagnosis and took him around both his cousins and his daycare buds before the green goop arrived and confirmed the verdict.) and ran across a blog that made me crack up. Seriously, a couple of these made me laugh out loud all alone. I think that alone is a sign that I needed the break!

Your real name:

Karen

Your Gangsta Name: (first 4 letters of real name plus izzle:}

Kareizzle

Your Detective Name: (fav color and fav animal)

Purple Wolf

Your Soap Opera Name: (middle name, and childhood street)

Christine Nall

Your Star Wars Name: (the last 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom’s maiden name)

Kerkaloh

Your Super Hero Name: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)

Green Gimlet

Your Iraqi Name: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom’s maiden name, 3rd letter of your dad’s middle name, 1st letter of a sibling’s first name, last letter of your mom’s middle name)

Achoumn

Your Witness Protection Program Name: (grandmother/grandfather’s first name and Jones)

Darlis Jones

Your Goth name: (black, and the name of one your pets).

Black Eleanor

Toddler Highs and Lows

I'm reminded tonight of the crazy joys of having a 2 1/2 year old boy in my house, as well as the, shall we say, yuckier aspects.

I'll start with cute and funny... I didn't do much to beautify today. I was lucky to have enough time for a shower, so I just blew my hair dry in any direction it wanted to go. The point was just to go downstairs without a wet head.

I had a haircut last week. Let's just say the result of going au naturel was not pretty. My hair stands in wild curls all over my head. At least it justifies the new, straight do.

Well, when Sam saw me, he just looked at me and said very questioningly, "I like your hair, Mommy." Then he just kept staring.

It reminded me of two HILARIOUS exchanges from the past two weeks.

While in Kansas City, my mom was getting ready in the hall bathroom at my aunt's when Sam came for a visit. It went like this:
SAM: Whatcha doin' Nonni?
NONNI: I'm having trouble. Nonni's having a bad hair day.
SAM: *runs as fast he he can down the hall to me...in the kitchen, working on my laptop.*
SAM: Mommy!! Come quick!! You got to help Nonni!
ME: What's the matter with Nonni?
SAM: She havin' a bad hair day!

I have not laughed that hard is a long time.

This exchange taught him the meaning of the words "bad hair day." The next week, before my haircut, I pulled my hair back to wash my face using one of those hairbands that look like a giant ponytail holder. It kind of made my bangs stick up on top of my head.

Sam was in the bathtub behind me, just watching intently. As he stared curiously, without breaking his gaze, I asked what he was looking at.

His reply? "Mommy? Are you having a bad hair day?"

Again... peals of laughter.

Now for the ultimate in gross toddler stories. I'm sure other moms have all been through this, but it was my first experience with true nastiness from my child.

A little while ago, I found him watching Bert and Ernie sans pants. I asked him to pull them up unless he needed to potty. He replied in the negative, so we went on with our evening.

I ran upstairs a while later to drop something in my office. I hear him trudge up the steps, announcing that he needs his poopy pants changed.

I take him into his room. I turn around to get a diaper. I turn back to him to find him with his pants down, holding his poopy bum. Let's just say I didn't know poop could get in so many places so fast.

I put him in the tub, thanking God that my child LOVES to play with bar soap. After applying the requisite amount of friction to actually get him clean, I let him stew in Lever 2000 (antibacterial, of course) for a good long time.

Nice night for Daddy to be out, huh?

I started the evening thinking it HAD to be better than last Wednesday, when I ended Valentine's Day in the Emergency Room passing a kidney stone. Again with the revelations: who knew such a tiny thing could cause such tremendous pain?

Tales from the road

Well, we've been in Kansas City just under 48 hours now, and I've already made up for 19 years of NOT driving the roads in my hometown. I feel like I've been in the car since we got here.

This is a very spread-out city, which becomes very apparent when you have meetings and plans to see relatives on the same day. I think I drove every single major road in the Kansas City metropolitan area yesterday... in the snow.

There wasn't a lot of snow, but for some reason, it sent everyone here for a loop. I was listening to the news on the radio, and realized that I'd seen with my own eyes at least half of the 15 accidents they were detailing in traffic reports. I was lucky to have missed the 35 car pile-up on I-35. Seriously. After less than an inch of snow. We're considering moving here at some point WHY?!

Does global warming or El Nino or whatever natural phenomenon that has given us such a warm year also take with it the collective ability to drive in inclement weather?

At least people here are nice on the roads, though. Can anyone in New Jersey recall the last time you saw an entire lane of traffic move left when approaching an entrance ramp so as to make it easier for the merge traffic to join the flow?! Everyone does it. Really weird. Nice for an out-of-town driver like me, but still eerie.

We have more playdates today with cousins. Sam has been a total champ in the travel department. Other than not figuring out how to nap at a strange house with Nonni on duty, he's been fantastic. His little body clock has been set spinning, but he's been happy and ready to entertain all the new people he meets.

His hall of fame remark so far?

My aunt asked him, "Sam, did you fly here on an airplane?"

His deadpan response, "No, it was a jet."