We just woke up with Sam in our bed. He's been getting sick again after a 6 week reprieve. He just wanted to be near us as he slept, so we caved. (First night without a dog in the bed and we add a kid!)
I'm so glad we did. He did the CUTEST THING EVER when he woke up. We've been feeling his forehead off and on to see if he has a fever. The very first thing he did when he woke up this morning was to feel each of our foreheads, kiss us, and say "Ok!" Like I've-checked-you-out-and-you're-just-fine-now-let's-play.
These are absolutely the best moments to remember. Right after the cuteness, though, it was back to reality. Leaky diaper in Mommy and Daddy's bed....
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Can you hear me now?
I travel for my job. Lately, it's been more than I'd like to admit. I love my job, but it sure would be nice to be able to be in two places at once.
As far as handling lots of travel and a new kid at home, we deal with what we refer to as "our normal." I won't get on a soapbox about it, but I firmly believe that what works for one family may very well not work for another. I also won't lie and say I don't feel pressure from quite a few places/people when it comes to our less-than-conventional schedule, but our normal is working for us. As I've mentioned before, I live on a quest to be a great mommy to Sam. I can honestly say that being happy with my job makes me a better parent.
But, back to the travel. When I first started this new position, we had not really found our family groove yet. Sam's schedule was erratic, at best, and leaving Rob home to figure it out alone literally made me sick to my stomach every time I walked out the door. I had faith, though, that we'd get through it. The hardest part about being gone back then was the assumption that Sam didn't really notice it and didn't know that it was my voice on the phone when I called. He was, however, really excited to see me at the airport when I came home. I will never forget the first time I came home from Dallas. I was so afraid that our attachment would be affected. But, he took one look at me, grabbed me around the neck and just squeezed. He had a huge grin on his face the whole time and just kept patting my back. It didn't hurt that he was holding a sign that said "Mommy... Welcome Home!"
As time went on, Sam seemed to be fairly unaffected by our routine (or lack thereof), but for a brief time, we were concerned that acting out at school could be related to my absence. Luckily, that, too, has passed. His charming love-to-bite-and-push phase seems to be over.
In an odd way, the turning point was something that I was sure was a harbinger of doom. About four weeks ago, I was on my way out the door. Sam took one look at my suitcase and started to cry. There was no denying that he connected that red bag with my leaving. BUT, a beautiful thing happened just after that. When I call home now, he recognizes my voice. He used to say "hi" into the phone -- which I absolutely ate up -- but I knew deep down that he'd say the same thing if Big Bird called.
Now when I call home, he say's "Hi, Mommy! I love you, Mommy. I miss you!" He gets excited to hear my voice and talk to me. In his own little way, he tries to tell me about his day. It's generallly babble, but I know he thinks he's telling me a story.
Reports from the homefront indicate that he's more settled, even when I'm gone. I am now truly confident that "our normal" is a very real thing. Even better is that I know this is all proof of a very solid attachment... an accomplishment to be proud of in the adoption process. He's my son, and he knows I ALWAYS come back.
As far as handling lots of travel and a new kid at home, we deal with what we refer to as "our normal." I won't get on a soapbox about it, but I firmly believe that what works for one family may very well not work for another. I also won't lie and say I don't feel pressure from quite a few places/people when it comes to our less-than-conventional schedule, but our normal is working for us. As I've mentioned before, I live on a quest to be a great mommy to Sam. I can honestly say that being happy with my job makes me a better parent.
But, back to the travel. When I first started this new position, we had not really found our family groove yet. Sam's schedule was erratic, at best, and leaving Rob home to figure it out alone literally made me sick to my stomach every time I walked out the door. I had faith, though, that we'd get through it. The hardest part about being gone back then was the assumption that Sam didn't really notice it and didn't know that it was my voice on the phone when I called. He was, however, really excited to see me at the airport when I came home. I will never forget the first time I came home from Dallas. I was so afraid that our attachment would be affected. But, he took one look at me, grabbed me around the neck and just squeezed. He had a huge grin on his face the whole time and just kept patting my back. It didn't hurt that he was holding a sign that said "Mommy... Welcome Home!"
As time went on, Sam seemed to be fairly unaffected by our routine (or lack thereof), but for a brief time, we were concerned that acting out at school could be related to my absence. Luckily, that, too, has passed. His charming love-to-bite-and-push phase seems to be over.
In an odd way, the turning point was something that I was sure was a harbinger of doom. About four weeks ago, I was on my way out the door. Sam took one look at my suitcase and started to cry. There was no denying that he connected that red bag with my leaving. BUT, a beautiful thing happened just after that. When I call home now, he recognizes my voice. He used to say "hi" into the phone -- which I absolutely ate up -- but I knew deep down that he'd say the same thing if Big Bird called.
Now when I call home, he say's "Hi, Mommy! I love you, Mommy. I miss you!" He gets excited to hear my voice and talk to me. In his own little way, he tries to tell me about his day. It's generallly babble, but I know he thinks he's telling me a story.
Reports from the homefront indicate that he's more settled, even when I'm gone. I am now truly confident that "our normal" is a very real thing. Even better is that I know this is all proof of a very solid attachment... an accomplishment to be proud of in the adoption process. He's my son, and he knows I ALWAYS come back.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
What will he think?
In my mind, this was always one of those mommy moments that I absolutely couldn't wait for: the first time my kid sees snow. When frustrated and convinced that we might never have children, a beautiful snowfall shared with my baby is one of the most frequent visions that would pop into my head. I would always end up so sad, thinking the day of looking out onto our white backyard with a baby in my arms might never come.
Well, it's finally here! Now, I do realize that we had a bit of the white stuff back in December, but it came overnight and wasn't enough to play in. What we have today -- a genuine Nor'Easter with the potential for 8 - 14 inches -- that's my idea of snow! Today Sam walked over to the windows a few times and looked out at the snowfall with a perplexed look on his face. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a lot of fun. Now that the temperature has dropped, we should get some decent accumulation. I can't wait to go outside together and throw snow around in the air.
Every other "mommy moment" that I've waited for and seen come to fruition so far has lived up to its potential. I expect no less of Sam's first snow.
In other news, Sam got a "big boy" haircut today. He's been needing a trim for quite some time. When we finally got him into the chair, we went for broke and cut it all off. He looks so much older! I have a feeling the "she's so beautiful" comments might finally be behind us. Seriously, I dress the kid in camo, and people still think he's a she. I think back to all of my liberal sociology classes in college and cringe that it bothers me so much that he's mistaken for a girl... Just another entry in the long list of things that I swore I'd never do or think when I "grew up!"
Yes, that's who I am today. Sam's mommy... someone who worries about traditional gender roles more than I ought and has more than my fair share of country music on my iPod. A lot can change in 10 years.
Well, it's finally here! Now, I do realize that we had a bit of the white stuff back in December, but it came overnight and wasn't enough to play in. What we have today -- a genuine Nor'Easter with the potential for 8 - 14 inches -- that's my idea of snow! Today Sam walked over to the windows a few times and looked out at the snowfall with a perplexed look on his face. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a lot of fun. Now that the temperature has dropped, we should get some decent accumulation. I can't wait to go outside together and throw snow around in the air.
Every other "mommy moment" that I've waited for and seen come to fruition so far has lived up to its potential. I expect no less of Sam's first snow.
In other news, Sam got a "big boy" haircut today. He's been needing a trim for quite some time. When we finally got him into the chair, we went for broke and cut it all off. He looks so much older! I have a feeling the "she's so beautiful" comments might finally be behind us. Seriously, I dress the kid in camo, and people still think he's a she. I think back to all of my liberal sociology classes in college and cringe that it bothers me so much that he's mistaken for a girl... Just another entry in the long list of things that I swore I'd never do or think when I "grew up!"
Yes, that's who I am today. Sam's mommy... someone who worries about traditional gender roles more than I ought and has more than my fair share of country music on my iPod. A lot can change in 10 years.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
No more caca??
I think Sam may be sneaking onto the computer when we're not watching and reading my blog. Seriously. Just as soon as I posted that Sam's only remaining Korean word is "caca," he stopped saying it! I'm sad in a weird way. I know one word doesn't keep him connected to his birth culture, but it seems like such a shift that he's only speaking English now. For the record, he switched from "caca" to "cacoo" and then pretty much realized he knows how to actually say "cookie." So, "cookie" it is.
Rather than bemoan the loss of a not-so-appealing-in-the-first-place word, I should be rejoicing at the amazing developments we witness on an almost daily basis.
He has started singing with us when we sing to him. He's doing a great job of counting. He can identify an amazing number of picture when we ask him to point them out. He's learning his colors. But our biggest development of the week???
HE EATS CHICKEN!! It sounds so silly to get excited about that, but my little peanut really does need to learn the virtues of protein if he's going to get over the 25th percentile for weight. He's constantly asking for chicken now, so the kid has eaten quite a few nuggets in the last week. Baby steps, I say. We'll go with the healthier stuff when he makes eating like a real person a habit.
Rather than bemoan the loss of a not-so-appealing-in-the-first-place word, I should be rejoicing at the amazing developments we witness on an almost daily basis.
He has started singing with us when we sing to him. He's doing a great job of counting. He can identify an amazing number of picture when we ask him to point them out. He's learning his colors. But our biggest development of the week???
HE EATS CHICKEN!! It sounds so silly to get excited about that, but my little peanut really does need to learn the virtues of protein if he's going to get over the 25th percentile for weight. He's constantly asking for chicken now, so the kid has eaten quite a few nuggets in the last week. Baby steps, I say. We'll go with the healthier stuff when he makes eating like a real person a habit.
Friday, February 03, 2006
He's getting so big...
I hear this almost every time someone sees Sam. After even hearing it from Uncle Bubba this week (while visiting Sam's newest buddy, baby Shane!) I decided it was time for another capture-the-moment post.
Sam came home saying a very few Korean words. The only one he still says is "caca." Sounds very cute or slighty gross, depending on your perspective. It actually just translates to "cookie" in Korean. Sam quickly learned that he could get any kind of snack out of Mommy and Daddy if he shouts "MORE CACA!" Much to my parental delight but closeted dismay, he's started to use the actual words for various food items.
Just yesterday morning, the darling child wanted Cheerios and actually said "more cereal, please!" When I asked him what he'd just said, he clarified for his dumb mom and said "CHEER-EE-OHS."
On that note, now that he can say three syllable words, he's decided that he must distinctively pronounce each syllable. Due to what must be a growth spurt (or at least that's what I tell myself so as not to appear too whiny when woken up at 3:30 a.m.), Sam has been waking up at ridiculous hours, screaming his little head off. When we get to his crib, he says in a very demanding tone of voice "HUN-GER-EEE" I get it, kid. You want food.
At much more civilized times of day, Sam has been honing his skills as a politician. The latest conversation with Miss Nicole (his AM daycare teacher) let us in on his time-out escapades. Typically, when put on time out, Sam just laughs at whoever places him in the dreaded bucket seat at school. Nicole tells us that he seems virtually immune to that form of punishment. Well... It appears that it finally got through to the little bugger this week. He was laughing at Miss Nicole when first put in the time-out seat. He got upset the second time. The third time, he decided to focus on finding a way to still play whilst in isolation.
This is what Nicole heard: "Brayden! Jackie! Joshua! Nic! Jason!..." She turned around to find that Sam had gathered "his people" around him and was leading the pack from his elevated perch. This is not unlike the story in which Sam cleaned off the bottom shelf of the classroom bookshelf, climbed in, and had four other toddlers alongside him within seconds.
There are days when I wish I could install a camera on the kid's head so that I could see some of this stuff for myself!
Sam came home saying a very few Korean words. The only one he still says is "caca." Sounds very cute or slighty gross, depending on your perspective. It actually just translates to "cookie" in Korean. Sam quickly learned that he could get any kind of snack out of Mommy and Daddy if he shouts "MORE CACA!" Much to my parental delight but closeted dismay, he's started to use the actual words for various food items.
Just yesterday morning, the darling child wanted Cheerios and actually said "more cereal, please!" When I asked him what he'd just said, he clarified for his dumb mom and said "CHEER-EE-OHS."
On that note, now that he can say three syllable words, he's decided that he must distinctively pronounce each syllable. Due to what must be a growth spurt (or at least that's what I tell myself so as not to appear too whiny when woken up at 3:30 a.m.), Sam has been waking up at ridiculous hours, screaming his little head off. When we get to his crib, he says in a very demanding tone of voice "HUN-GER-EEE" I get it, kid. You want food.
At much more civilized times of day, Sam has been honing his skills as a politician. The latest conversation with Miss Nicole (his AM daycare teacher) let us in on his time-out escapades. Typically, when put on time out, Sam just laughs at whoever places him in the dreaded bucket seat at school. Nicole tells us that he seems virtually immune to that form of punishment. Well... It appears that it finally got through to the little bugger this week. He was laughing at Miss Nicole when first put in the time-out seat. He got upset the second time. The third time, he decided to focus on finding a way to still play whilst in isolation.
This is what Nicole heard: "Brayden! Jackie! Joshua! Nic! Jason!..." She turned around to find that Sam had gathered "his people" around him and was leading the pack from his elevated perch. This is not unlike the story in which Sam cleaned off the bottom shelf of the classroom bookshelf, climbed in, and had four other toddlers alongside him within seconds.
There are days when I wish I could install a camera on the kid's head so that I could see some of this stuff for myself!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
We Share Everything...
...especially germs. And lots of them.
This week was a total whirlwind. Samd seemed to get a *new* cold last weekend. He was stuffy Saturday and Sunday. On Sunday, I thought I was finally rid of a nasty 3-week cold, only to spike a fever for some reason. No worries. Three Advil and I was fine. EXCEPT, just two hours later, Rob has an even higher fever and ends up in bed... even with my family over for dinner.
We all wake up on Monday seemingly feeling better. Rob and Sam go off to school. I head to the airport for a meeting in Phoenix. I land, check messages and hear that Rob's fever is back and he's going home. He said he'd pick up Sam, let him nap at home, then have him checked by the ped for good measure.
Well, since the cell phone towers were down on the west coast, I was unable to check in on my boys. I arrive in my hotel room to a ringing phone. My sister said, "Don't be scared, but Sam is in the hospital!!" Ok. Like I wasn't going to panic.
Turns out he had a febrile seizure while at the doctor's office. His breathing was still bad 90 min. later, so off to the ER. They spent a few hours there and went home when they couldn't find an infection.
Meanwhile, I took my first redeye... Once home, I insist we go back to the ped. Rob had a doc appt. first, and we find out he has strep. Mystery apparently solved. Even though most young kids don't get strep, Sam did. Along with an ear infection and croup to boot. I took care of my boys for another day, only to get strep myself.
A few days on antibiotics (if I had the energy I'd write up Rob's rant over getting Penicillin to my Z-pack), we all seemed better. WRONG. I now have the mother of all colds. Rob and Sam are just fine, yelling at the football games on TV while I struggle for just one good breath.
Wet kisses are too good to turn down. Bites from Sam's spoon and drinks from his cup... not so much. Enough with the sharing!
This week was a total whirlwind. Samd seemed to get a *new* cold last weekend. He was stuffy Saturday and Sunday. On Sunday, I thought I was finally rid of a nasty 3-week cold, only to spike a fever for some reason. No worries. Three Advil and I was fine. EXCEPT, just two hours later, Rob has an even higher fever and ends up in bed... even with my family over for dinner.
We all wake up on Monday seemingly feeling better. Rob and Sam go off to school. I head to the airport for a meeting in Phoenix. I land, check messages and hear that Rob's fever is back and he's going home. He said he'd pick up Sam, let him nap at home, then have him checked by the ped for good measure.
Well, since the cell phone towers were down on the west coast, I was unable to check in on my boys. I arrive in my hotel room to a ringing phone. My sister said, "Don't be scared, but Sam is in the hospital!!" Ok. Like I wasn't going to panic.
Turns out he had a febrile seizure while at the doctor's office. His breathing was still bad 90 min. later, so off to the ER. They spent a few hours there and went home when they couldn't find an infection.
Meanwhile, I took my first redeye... Once home, I insist we go back to the ped. Rob had a doc appt. first, and we find out he has strep. Mystery apparently solved. Even though most young kids don't get strep, Sam did. Along with an ear infection and croup to boot. I took care of my boys for another day, only to get strep myself.
A few days on antibiotics (if I had the energy I'd write up Rob's rant over getting Penicillin to my Z-pack), we all seemed better. WRONG. I now have the mother of all colds. Rob and Sam are just fine, yelling at the football games on TV while I struggle for just one good breath.
Wet kisses are too good to turn down. Bites from Sam's spoon and drinks from his cup... not so much. Enough with the sharing!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Where to start?
If I mean for this to be a virtual memory book of our days, I probably need to actually post nearly daily. At least one would think. Perhaps what I'm discovering about myself and my lack of ability to be a good "memory mommy" is that I'm so busy doing things in the moment that I don't slow down to remember all the cute, funny and cool things that Sam does. So I'll just jump in. At some point, I'll go back and try to recall the stuff from before this date that I don't want to forget, either. (Deb told us to start writing things down and taking video. We should have listened more closely! There's a lot that Sam's already stopped doing...)
I saw my friend Tara yesterday. She has a daughter just a few months older than Sam. She told me that once they start talking, they have a virtual language explosion between the ages of 18 and 24 months. Yeah, I can see that.
Sam, just this week, came out with a whole bunch of words that we had no idea he knew. I'm sure he picks them up at school, but it shows what I get for having an ego and thinking that he learns all he knows from Mommy and Daddy! Not true. His words of the week: pocket, Vera (as in Miss Vera, a fave teacher at daycare), pancake and digger.
He also picked up my cell phone, put it to his ear and said, "Hello, Nonni. You comin'?" I was overcome by the cuteness.
A not-so-cute, though surely laughable-in-the-future moment: I was wearing layers this morning. I take off the top layer and inadvertently flash my unassuming son. He just smiles and says, "Mommy! Boobie!" Where did he learn THAT one???!!!
I saw my friend Tara yesterday. She has a daughter just a few months older than Sam. She told me that once they start talking, they have a virtual language explosion between the ages of 18 and 24 months. Yeah, I can see that.
Sam, just this week, came out with a whole bunch of words that we had no idea he knew. I'm sure he picks them up at school, but it shows what I get for having an ego and thinking that he learns all he knows from Mommy and Daddy! Not true. His words of the week: pocket, Vera (as in Miss Vera, a fave teacher at daycare), pancake and digger.
He also picked up my cell phone, put it to his ear and said, "Hello, Nonni. You comin'?" I was overcome by the cuteness.
A not-so-cute, though surely laughable-in-the-future moment: I was wearing layers this morning. I take off the top layer and inadvertently flash my unassuming son. He just smiles and says, "Mommy! Boobie!" Where did he learn THAT one???!!!
Monday, January 02, 2006
My first post
It's a new year. Most people are making resolutions right about now. Mine is small and grandiose at the same time. I want to be the best mommy ever.
2005 closed a long chapter in our lives. After losing several pregnancies, one of which nearly ended my own life, we finally brought our son home on June 14. Samuel Andrew HyunTae arrived at the Philadelphia airport at 8:39 p.m. to the cheers of many friends and family. He was just over 12 months old and the cutest baby we'd ever laid eyes on. After more than 16 hours on a plane in the arms of a virtual stranger, Sam was handed over to us to begin life with his forever family.
That day is well documented. Our family and friends took lots of pictures and video. We had professional photographers in tow. We even crafted (well, Rob did anyway) our own DVD of Sam's "Gotcha Day."
My iPhoto library has 1620 images in it. I'd say at least 1500 of them are Sam-related. I got Photoshop Elements for Christmas in the vain hope that I'll actually do something with all those pictures.
Now, mind you, I come from a family of crafty/artsy people who have pages upon pages of adorable scrapbook entries chronicling the lives of their children. You think I'd be inspired to do the same. I am. I just never seem to get it done (not unlike the cross-stitching or knitting habits I've tried to pick up over the years.)
That brings me to this, my first post in my first blog. We'll see where it goes, but I'm resolving to capture the amazing moments in our new life with Sam this way. 2006 is about being honest with myself. That means I'll probably never turn into the kind of mommy who makes beautiful scrapbook pages. I still think I have the world's cutest kid, but I needed a more Karen-friendly place to catalog his escapades... And who knows? Maybe I'll master Photoshop yet.
2005 closed a long chapter in our lives. After losing several pregnancies, one of which nearly ended my own life, we finally brought our son home on June 14. Samuel Andrew HyunTae arrived at the Philadelphia airport at 8:39 p.m. to the cheers of many friends and family. He was just over 12 months old and the cutest baby we'd ever laid eyes on. After more than 16 hours on a plane in the arms of a virtual stranger, Sam was handed over to us to begin life with his forever family.
That day is well documented. Our family and friends took lots of pictures and video. We had professional photographers in tow. We even crafted (well, Rob did anyway) our own DVD of Sam's "Gotcha Day."
My iPhoto library has 1620 images in it. I'd say at least 1500 of them are Sam-related. I got Photoshop Elements for Christmas in the vain hope that I'll actually do something with all those pictures.
Now, mind you, I come from a family of crafty/artsy people who have pages upon pages of adorable scrapbook entries chronicling the lives of their children. You think I'd be inspired to do the same. I am. I just never seem to get it done (not unlike the cross-stitching or knitting habits I've tried to pick up over the years.)
That brings me to this, my first post in my first blog. We'll see where it goes, but I'm resolving to capture the amazing moments in our new life with Sam this way. 2006 is about being honest with myself. That means I'll probably never turn into the kind of mommy who makes beautiful scrapbook pages. I still think I have the world's cutest kid, but I needed a more Karen-friendly place to catalog his escapades... And who knows? Maybe I'll master Photoshop yet.
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