It's been a week since we legally and officially completed our family. I remembered how emotional Sam's finalization ceremony was for me, but I was (and am still) surprised at how significant is has felt to know that Max is ours forever.Of course, I knew he was MY baby the minute I laid eyes on him. And I trusted that the process was working as it should, meaning (as I've explained to Sam) that God knows exactly which babies belong with which mommies and daddies... It doesn't matter how He brings you together. Forever families are just meant to be.
The court date was special this time, too, because we were given the opportunity to take place in National Adoption Day festivities. We were one of 32 families (and 37 children) being finalized on November 20, in Camden County. The wait to see the judge was long, but we passed the time with other families who were just as excited as we were. There was even one family adopting six siblings at once, and they were all dressed in purple, the youngest daughter's favorite color. It was adorable and almost overwhelming to witness. I was moved beyond words when I saw the family come of out of the courtoom. The dad was practically turning cartwheels down the hall! It's hard to imagine how big their hearts must be. It was clear that they were all very lucky, and happy, to have each other forever.
In the days since Max's finalization, I've stopped more times than I can count to just look and him and think about what it means to be forever linked together. I feel blessed beyond description to have the family that I do. While I will never forget the pain and emotional turmoil trying to have a family caused us, it was worth every single tear and sleepless night along the way to end up where we did. We have the everyday struggles that any family does, but I think that's what makes it so special. It was the run-of-the-mill that I wanted. I never wanted anything more than anyone else does... I just wanted children to love and raise with the knowledge that they are the center of their parents' universe. And that's just what I got.
Sam has definitely thought lately about what adoption means and he seems to have a very healthy grasp of it. He accepts without pretense that he didn't grow inside his mommy and that other mommies have also been a part of his life. He pretty much talks about adoption just like he talks about the fact that the sky is blue and the grass is green. It's just a regular part of his life. The fact that Rob and I talk about how happy we are about it is just part of our family culture to him. It doesn't seem "special" to him and I think that's a very good thing.
In fact, adoption is so "regular" to him that when he asked if the new family next door had kids for him to play with and I said "no, they don't have children yet, he replied, "Oh... They still need to adopt theirs?"
He does, however, notice that we do look different from one another at this point. We explored this issue a bit yesterday. He told me that I don't look like him. When I asked in what way he meant, he said, "Well, your skin is kind of light and red. You should probably put it in the light more so that it can be brown like mine."
I asked how else we were different. He said, "Mommy, you're not Korean."
His explanation? "You don't wear glasses like me and you like to wear slippers on your feet. I like to have bare feet." I had no idea that those were the criteria for being Korean!
Our week of family festivities wrapped up with a truly great Thanksgiving yesterday. We had a smaller than usual gathering, but it was really a lot of fun. We just hung out, ate way too much food, and then laughed and talked and played games until it was time for bed. It was a perfect family day.
